Reflection
by ScottXLoganNetwork
Summary: Logan reflects on the complicated nature of his relationship with Scott as he gives in to temptation with the younger version of the man he can't stop thinking about.


There was a time for the memories, but not tonight. There were words to be said in offering up the proper apologies, but for tonight they simply weren't flowing from the lips that were now kissing the one man Logan had fought like hell to forget. Only tonight wasn't about the man he'd forgotten, but rather the one he'd never touched, never teased or tasted before a few seconds earlier when Scott had come to him wrapped up in a moment of stubborn triumph when he'd called Logan's bluff. For weeks Logan had been avoiding him, had been trying to pretend that he hadn't noticed the way the teen had turned him on. He'd known it was a mistake in allowing him and the others to stay, but there had been something he hadn't been able to let go of. There was that undeniable hunger that consumed him. It kept him longing for something more—craving what he'd lost. It had become a need, an urgent craving that would ultimately be his undoing. He knew all along that he'd never been a man strong enough to ignore temptation when it was staring him in the face, well, behind those ruby glasses anyway clad only in a towel and the soft skin he'd been born in. If only he hadn't seemed so savory and so perfect in his innocence—so forbidden to the touch.

It would've been so much easier to turn away if it hadn't been for that quivering lower lip or that lean, long torso of the slender boy before him. To know that Scott had been untouched, unjaded by the world around him beyond the things he'd experienced in his youth back at the orphanage almost made their time together too good to be true. Back when they'd come together the first time around life had changed him. He'd lived in a world that had caused him to be detached, emotionally unavailable without the same sense of reckless abandon that had him standing in Logan's bedroom naked and urgent wanting nothing more than to let Logan be the first. In another life it had been Jeanie, which in its own way had always kept the two of them at arm's length never really allowing them to give in to the true nature of the beast between them. Sex was the label they'd put upon it when it had evolved past fury, but never had it been considered making love. The very thought was taboo, forbidden in so many ways that Logan had lead himself to believe those words were simply an illusion, a myth that Scott carried with him in order to cling to the memory of Jeanie. If he'd reserved those thoughts and emotions for her alone it made things easier—almost set to the same regiment where Scott had kept it under lock and key. His Scott was never his at all. He would never allow Logan the luxury to call the madness between them love. The words were forbidden as were the soft, sweet caresses of Logan's fingers against the warm flesh beneath him. Unlike his older counterpart the boy in his bed wasn't covered with the same battle wounds or emotional scars that Scott had faced through the years. He was fresh, vulnerable and holding onto Logan as if everything in their future depended on it.

"I knew from the first time you looked at me that it was going to be you," his tender voice whispered in the back of Logan's ear while the shaky, slender arms squeezed at Logan's shoulders coaxing Logan to give himself to the ultimate act of defiance against his own personal growth and evolution, "I knew somehow this would all lead to us being together."

"Slim," Logan struggled to find the words, to say to the boy in his bed beneath him that their time together would never lead to happy endings. Their lives would never guide them down a path where everything would be as they'd wanted to be. It would be filled with heartbreak and misery guiding them down two very different paths where they'd become virtual strangers to one another. Lust hadn't been enough. Love wasn't allowed to be put on the table, which left them both longing and empty knowing that the price of Xavier's dream and saving the world had kept them from the one happiness they never should've known to begin with. Scott was eternally haunted by his sins and Jean's memory while Logan was simply meant to spend his life alone and miserable watching the world around him fall to pieces. He'd lost everyone that ever mattered and the inevitable had come to fruition with Scott. Their schism had split them in ways they'd never recover from. Their lives guided them further from the one madness they'd carried between them during their time together. Reckless indulgence was masked in violence and rage, lust and passion without the promise of sweet beginnings to follow. Animal instinct had taken control—had kept them from truly entering into the one thing that Logan had always been jealous over. Jeanie had taken his heart. Emma had his mind and body while Logan was left with—his rage. It was the only thing he'd offered. It was the reasoning through the years that kept them pushing one another harder than either had anticipated. It was the one motivation for their union, for the walls breaking down between them time and time again when they'd given themselves to one another. The rage, the regret, the understanding that they were both soldiers, both broken and bound by the rules inflicted upon them by the world around them. To anyone else it was madness. To the both of them it made sense in its own way. It was in its origins a means of coping with their fate, yet here Logan was in his bedroom in a place where he never should've been with long, lean, muscular legs wrapped around his hips guiding him further down a path that would change everything for them.

Hot, wet kisses over warm, wanting skin accompanied lips in places they never should have been, but it was too late to stop. Logan had gone too far to ever turn back from it. He'd known he should've said no, should've pushed Scott away, but even in his youth Scott called to him like a siren song leading Logan to think about happy endings and dreams of a future in a world they would never know. Touching the teen's cheek, Logan watched him closely taking in each labored breath, every soft cry of encouragement and sensation when he pressed further into Scott knowing it was something they'd never be able to take back. Charles might erase it from Scott's mind when he returned to his own time, but Logan knew he'd never be able to forget. He'd never lose the memory of the boy who would one day become the man that Logan had found himself overwhelmingly obsessed with. With each movement he made inside of Scott, he knew everything had changed. Scott was no longer Jeanie's. He was no longer bound by a life that was filled with the same heartbreak over and over again. Instead he was marked, forever Logan's as Logan sank his teeth into Scott's ripe, young flesh biting into the skin over his shoulder to distract Scott from the pain, to somehow steal away the newness and bring about comfort in their union. Shivering Scott's fingers teased over Logan's spine, squeezing and sliding over his back until his long fingers clutched at Logan's bottom encouraging him to continue. Logan pulled back taking the time to memorize every beautiful expression on Scott's face, taking note of the sounds, of the smells and of every sensation he'd brought about in Scott Summers. Wrapped up in Logan's arms without his glasses, Logan realized Scott looked even younger, even more vulnerable when Logan's lips press over Scott's closed eyelids, teasing over Scott's high, sculpted cheekbones sliding down over to the tip of his nose. A soft cry erupted from the back of Scott's throat when Logan dipped down drinking up the soft moans of encouragement when their completion continued, slow and cautious, unlike any other union they'd shared in the past. Everything was riding on the moment, caught up in Scott's labored heartbeat, in his soft sounds of longing, in the way he held on simply allowing Logan to guide him, to bring him to a world of pleasure he'd never known back in his own time. Their bodies fell together as Logan had known it always should've been, lost in a familiarity that Logan could never truly fail to recall. It was everything he'd longed for, everything he hadn't been brave enough to ask for with the other version of Scott, yet when his teeth sank into Scott's neck once again, he heard the words that he hoped that time and distance would never allow him to forget.

"I love you Logan," Scott panted giving himself completely to temptation. With Scott's legs wrapped around him, encouraging him to delve further into their madness with one another, Logan felt his reservations leaving him in finding himself wondering why it hadn't always been like this. Holding Scott and touching him was a contrast to the violence and rage, yet everything about it had been perfect, remarkable in its own way when Logan rolled onto his back allowing Scott a moment to move on top of him and take control of their situation. Without hesitation Scott followed Logan's lead, resituating himself over Logan's body, taking him in with a youthful enthusiasm and eagerness that Logan found endearing in the moment.

Reaching out to hold Scott's hips, Logan arched up as well knowing that the one thing that he'd sworn he'd never reveal to the world around him years ago surrounded him with Scott over him, wanting and needing him in ways he'd never experienced before. Every forbidden fantasy became reality as Logan squeezed onto Scott's waist, guiding his movements before whispering the words Scott's older counterpart would never hear.

"I love you too Slim," Logan promised knowing from that moment on there'd be no turning back from the truth inside of him regardless of whatever fate had in store for the both of them.


End file.
